Am I nervous or what?

Today I will be at the AFTRA Annual Meeting but before I go, I have to do what I can for my project so that tomorrow's shoot will go as smoothly as possible.

Recently, I was talking with Devon, the Director of Photography for the A and D scenes, and he said, "You're a bit of a nervous nelly, aren't you?" I had to think about this one because I am pretty sure most people would think I'm somewhat laid back, maybe even TOO laid back but for some reason he sees me as nervous. Then it occurred to me that he has been working on this project with me and the first one was the only one that had an ACTUAL deadline/ air date because of the whole Valentine's Day, Love Project thing. He is also watching me do the most important thing that I've ever done for myself so of course I'm a bit nervous! Yikes! I really want this to be the best I've got. I really want this to be something that gets us ALL work. I really want to meet Meryl and play her daughter, who looks nothing like her, in a feature film. I really want these things and I'm out here blowing in the wind for all to see. I've selected Meryl Streep for goodness sakes! She's the best even if you don't like her. I'm saying to the world, here I am, ridicule away ... hit me with your best shot ... watch, don't watch, think I'm insane. That's a lot to say, if you think about it.

So, bottom line, Devon's right. I'm a bit nervous about everything regarding A to Z. There's what goes on in my head and then there's what happens in reality. I'm trying to get those two things to match because the show inside my head, rocks!