Step One

Today I will submit the three ideas my creative team has created to the amusement park client.  As I looked at the final document, I saw some small typos which of course I planned to fix but I saw an even greater error in my way of looking at this whole thing.  One of the ideas had a description that I thought might be slightly inaccurate but I wasn't bothered by it.  I glossed over it thinking this was just a submission meant to be tweaked and two of the ideas were even going to be discarded.  But that's not like me at all.  Luckily one of my team members pointed it out and gave me the opportunity to look at my error more deeply.

Here's an example.  The H scene.  As many of you know, this was not my favorite because I fell short in my performance, or at least that's how I see it.  Anyway, what you may not have noticed although I'm not sure how you could miss it, was that my hair was a ridiculous  mess.  It was my goal and mission accomplished I might add, throughout all of A to Z to never duplicate my costumes or hair.  This means that every time I chose to use my own hair I had to come up with a different style. In the case of The Hours, my hair was meant to be in a curly pony tail.  I painstakingly curled my bone straight hair, sprayed it within an inch of its roots and then put it in the pony tail.  The last glance I took of it, my hair was bouncy, shiny and curly (at least by my standards).  Fast forward to the finished scene.  Um, can you say rats nest?  Can you say is that Nancy's attempt at a dreadlock?  What is that on top of her head?  Where was the brush in that mess?  Well, clearly I didn't see that my hair had fallen out of the curled situation and into the mess category before we shot.  Obviously I did not KNOW it looked that bad.  I use this example because my intentions in A to Z were always to go for perfection.  I sometimes failed in terms of sound, lighting, performance, or hair but I NEVER noticed the crap while it was happening.  It was always after the event.

Now, what is the difference between my current oh well attitude to my previous let's curl that last strand?  I don't think I need to say but let it be said that if my heart's not in it, well, the less than is gonna come out.  So, I will be tweaking that document and checking for typos and making it the very best it can be but I'm sad to say I won't be liking it.  And I do realize you were all hoping I would say something like I learned that even though this may not be my dream job, there is a beauty in learning this lesson and my heart is lighter because of bla bla bla ... well, NOPE, I'm not going to lie here.  Yes, I will be positive with the client and I am genuinely excited for their park transformation BUT I know my dream and my love and that's what my goal was, is and will remain until I don't love it anymore. I will definitely let you know if that happens but don't hold your breath.

Oh and if during this whole park thing Meryl Streep does call me, I am going to jump for joy and buy some shoes.  Yes, that's how I will celebrate!