Fasting while Learning Slowly

I didn't fast this past Wednesday so I decided to fast Thursday.  Why?  I haven't done much to take care of myself health wise so I thought a weekly cleanse might be a good idea.

So I fasted and spent the day trying to learn about my new found role of Producer/ Ad Agency Head.  I have been asking questions to people who know what they're doing and have a ton of experience.  That is where one learns, is it not?

Meanwhile, here is what I really learned.  It's time to be Mean Mommy.  That is not a role I do well.  When Cassie was little ... remember Cassie ... she was in A Prairie Home Companion  ... anyway, when she was little it was very easy for me to discipline her.  Sure she was cuter than cute but I knew what was best for her and I didn't so much care about what was "fair" but instead concerned myself with her well being and that was final.  I had no hard feelings if she was crying her eyes out because I said no.  I knew my decision was good and I knew she was going to be just fine.  Flash forward to Cassie as a teen when she had all the manipulative powers that puberty bestows on a girl, and you would see me consider her feelings waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.  I listened to her when she had complaints or was sad and although I didn't fold when I did give her a punishment, I was less apt to dole one out once I realized that I would be in a constant position of disciplining.  I then started picking my battles versus solely thinking about what was best for her.  I wanted peace. I wanted harmony. Look up Libra ... that's what I was shooting for and not achieving at all.  You know I'm going somewhere with this.  Well, to be the manager of a team of people requires the ability to say no and try again and that's just not working for me and thanks for your opinion but we'll be using mine.  Of course, there are many ways to say those things diplomatically but I always prefer not to be put in the position of having to say those things. I would rather have everyone do as I ask without having to ask more than once and for them to do my bidding.  LOL... I just said bidding.  Well, it's my fantasy right?  I can call it bidding if I want.  So Mean Mommy has to be in the house.  I have to actually gear myself up for it.  I tend to choose people I admire and whose work I respect so their opinions mean a lot to me but it's time I put my foot down.

What a sharp contrast, by the way, from my approach to A to Z where diplomacy was the way of the world and I never said NO to anyone.  I pretty much worked my life around everyone else and even if I gave direction that was not taken, I moved on and took what I could get.  I not only took into account personalities but forgave all inconveniences or outright slip ups and did it with a smile for the most part.  I wasn't paying and so I didn't think it would pay to get upset.  My how times change.  Now on behalf of the client, I have to say NO or I need that right now or I might have to take my business elsewhere.  Sheesh, Mean Mommy is a role better played on camera or stage.  I'll bet Meryl Streep never has these problems.  In fact, I'm quite sure she has the ability to tell everyone around her what she wants and how she wants it.  I might have to channel Meryl once again for this part I'm playing.  It's definitely a growth opportunity.  All I can say is while I learn slowly, I'm sure glad my fast is over and although the weather might screw up my lunch plans, I will eat nonetheless!